11/22/2023 0 Comments Female sexual predators near meAttempts to make you doubt your protective instincts “you’re not one of those helicopter parents, are you?”.Tries to establish a sense of camaraderie with your child and draw your child away from you “I know how parents are” “you’re old enough to go alone”.Seems to like the very same things that your child is interested in.If you are a single parent (especially a mother) – this person may be a new or potential romantic interest that comes off as “too good to be true” or anyone that seems interested in filling in as a fatherly role for your child.Flattery of you, your child, their talents and likewise, they may boast about their own successes/accomplishments, charitable work, generosity etc.Eagerness to learn details of your personal (possibly romantic) life and your child and their interests.May exhibit a sense that they feel they have special rights/privileges above others.Comments or conversation about a child’s appearance – which may even take a turn for the inappropriate.Long stares or periods of watching a child.Disregards “no” “stop” or other efforts from a child to avoid physical contact.Overly affectionate/playful with children – hugging, tickling, wrestling, holding or having a child sit on their lap.Gives gifts or special privileges for no apparent reason.Has a “favorite” child they seem to spend time with (which may vary from year to year).Spends more time with children than adults or peers – may even come off as immature and childish themselves.Volunteers or works with children but does not have children of their own, or child friendly toys – video games, tree house, train sets/doll collections etc.Be cautious for the following behaviors/characteristics: In order to gain access to your child, they usually try to establish a rapport with the parent as well as the child, but in some cases, they are less careful about hiding their intentions. You may not necessarily know these people very well, or only by name/face alone (a neighbor, a coach, a parent of another child you know). Some predators can be very patient with their grooming behaviors which is why it is important to consider the risk of abuse not just with new acquaintances but those we’ve known and grown to trust. Raising awareness, in a casual way, that you are educated about child sexual abuse may put some potential abusers on guard, in fear they may be caught. Seeing one or more of these red flag does not necessarily mean that you are in the presence of a sexual abuser, but if your instinct is feeling something is off – be vigilant, speak up if their behavior is inappropriate, and minimize this person’s access to children – especially in a 1:1 situation, which is the case for an estimated 80% of all child sexual abuse. And it is difficult when no two abusers look, talk, or act the same. In many cases of rape it is an outlet that perpetrators are using to fill a perceived need. Keep in mind, sexual abuse is often not about sex, but about control and dominance. Many ‘compartmentalize’ their abusive behaviors and seem like perfectly typical people during their day to day life. No two abusers look, talk, or act the same. It’s the grey area where most exist – predators that come off as “good” and charismatic “every day” kinds of people, they’re predatory behavior often extends towards how they treat and interact with other adults. Even experts on the issue who have interviewed convicted child molesters remark on how “likable” they appear. Keeping kids safe from sexual abuse is not a black and white issue.
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